I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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