im about as happy as oj after his trial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
