obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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