Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
did i just pee glitter
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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