Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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