Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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