Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
