we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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