its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
