I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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