Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do vagina's smell?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
