he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
