I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
