I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
