Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
