Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
