If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
