i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
