I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it was like eating out sand paper
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
