she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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