I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
