Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
