People with herpes should wear stickers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
