I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
