so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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