Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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