I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
