I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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