Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
