normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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