you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
