That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
