I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
