You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
