drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
