I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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