put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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