There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
