I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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