Walk of Shame. In a state park.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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