were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
