This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
