I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
