How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
