1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
