Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
