just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
