Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This house was built for laser tag.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
