508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
