I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
