I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
