My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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